Fasting

I didn't forget about you, God. The breathing was so bad this morning and the errands were all over me. Taking the next breath was a chore.

I didn't sleep last night... again. My mind is filled with so many thoughts. There's a traffic jam, for sure, but not that overwhelming confusion I am used to experiencing. The preparations are underway for our meeting. I am trying not to be too expectant of it, but that is so hard.

I've been away from you so very long. But this new experience is my first attempt at such a thing. With my love affair for food, I am surprised actually that I am so excited about it. But then the last year has been nothing but one surprise after another.

Fasting, in my mind, was only for what I perceived as the holy ones. I certainly wouldn't fit into that category. I really believed it was reserved for the shamans and the priests and the ones who are known to do your work. I didn't know the common man could do such a thing.

It isn't as if I don't ask you for things all the time. But, God... I really need your help on this one. I know I won't achieve my goal if I don't begin by looking to you. Help me to just get over myself, and around myself. It is true that people are their own worst enemy sometimes.

I don't like placing expectations on this process. But were it not for others extolling the virtues of it, I wouldn't even know about for one thing. And I certainly wouldn't be interested in it. All I have read just draws me to the process even more. The only thing I can think of is that, very simply, it is time.

Your plans are always so very much better than my own. And the way I figure it is that if it is looming in front of me, there is a reason for that. I can't walk away from it if it is truly you beckoning. And so I ask your help in getting through it.

As always, you are a loving God who helps his children. Thank you in advance. It's on its way.