New Friends

Wow! It's been a while since I came here to visit you, God. Hope you're not mad at me. I've been talking with You all along, but somehow it always feels better to slow down and talk with You like this.

Thanks to You and Your Goodness, I have a whole bunch of new friends. At times it's overwhelming to me. I think, "What did I do to deserve this?" And then I realize it is Your Grace and I did nothing to deserve it; that it is a free gift from You to me.

It's humbling to know You think of me like that. It's humbling to know You think of me at all!

And so on this day, I celebrate having my new friends... the friends who have embraced me like family and who help me in my day-to-day things. I'd truly be lost, but then You know that, huh?

Thank You for the Blessings, God, How Great Thou Art!!!

Life Is Over... ?

God, I don't know what to do with all this.

People are sick and dying. One little boy is only four and has had his fourth heart surgery. Another little boy is blind and his caretaker slashed his dog's throat and left the little boy naked on the floor until a relative got there. My sister-in-law died yesterday. A man I know has a gaping wound where doctors botched the surgery. Cancer is rampant in my small community of friends.

Branching outward, the world is a mess. Wars, starvation, civil rights abuses, animal abuses, greed, lust, power.... Some have so much. Too many have nothing.

Things you have said are abominations are being written into law. Storms, earthquakes, floods are ever increasing in strength and frequency.

I know you can't tell me, but are you coming soon? I don't feel as though I am ready yet. There is so much about you I don't know. I feel like the ONE thing I will need to know is the thing I will be missing and I will lose out on eternity with you.

I can't do anything about the state of the world. I really can't do anything about all the sick people either. And so I pray. But I really don't know WHAT to pray for. Is life suppposed to be so sad? Is life as we have known it over and done? Can you help me to understand?

In the meantime I just have to keep one thing in mind...

How great Thou art!!!

Partial Blindness

Like the blind man to whom you gave sight, I cling to you, Dear God. But even I know that were you to 'cure' my blindness in one fell swoop, it may be more than my spirit could endure.

And so today I thank You for allowing me insights, little by slow, so they can take root in my heart and grow good fruits.

You are an amazing God! How Great Thou Art!

A New Friend

What a great day, God. You gave me a new friend.

It's like finding out there is still some apple pie left. No wait! It's like knowing you have minutes left on your phone. Naw, it's like discovering all your outgoing letters have the postage already paid.

I'm so bad at this, huh? OK... it's like all that times the square root of the speed of light to the 10th power... plus!

I guess I'm excited. How great thou art!

The Dance

Hello God...

After the sermon yesterday, I felt a little bewildered. I do that a lot around you anyway. Your ways are not my ways... and I thank you for that.

I got to thinking about my life and how it feels sometimes. I have to be careful in that respect because although it may 'feel' a certain way, it may not actually be a fact. For instance, I may 'feel' depressed, but it doesn't necessarily means I have to 'be' depressed. A fine line, I know. But it is the fine lines that define success or failure for me.

So I thought, "If I could sum up my life as to how it feels most days, what would that be?"

It varies, yes, but there is a common theme throughout it all for me. My life feels like a dance. It is a performance which I was graced from you, animated through you and done for you.

As long as I allow you to be in control it is a most perfect ballet accompanied by wonderful soothing music. And when I digress, I feel as though I am hot-footing it across a griddle in the fire and the music is swallowed up by my screams.

I thank you for the days I dance... perfectly in your will, surrounded by perfect melody. You are an Awesome God. How Great Thou Art.

Storm Fury

That was a wild storm last night. The rain hurled itself at the windows. The lightning streaked across the sky. And then the power went out.

I felt like there is was place to go up here on the sixth floor. And, of course, my thoughts turned to what would happen if I had to leave. Those stairs are murder in the light. How would they be in the pitch dark?

The worry was momentary. I immediately turned to you and your protection. I readied myself for bed and talked with you for a while.

And now it's morning, a little foggy out there, but no damage that I can see. How great thou art! That was quite a light show! Thank you for protecting me and letting me sleep like a baby. And now I am off to greet the day. I am sure I will see you throughout it all.

HE IS ALIVE!

Yes, HE'S ALIVE!

It was written before the beginning of time. He knew his fate and accepted it in obedience. What could we ever possibly face that would compare to His suffering?

For over six hours He endured unthinkable agony - for you, for me. The love He had is more than I can interpret.

And then after this miserable torture, He died - the same kind of death you and I will experience. His body and Spirit separated and then He did what was prophesied throughout the ages... He descended into hell and overcame the grave and hell.

On the third day He rose and now sitteth at the right hand of the Father... His Father, Our Father.

He walked out of hell, resurrected and restored. He lives as fulfillment of the promise that we, too, may find eternal life.

Do you know Him? HE IS ALIVE!

A Hole in My Soul

You sure know how to enlighten me, God. Tonight the pastor preached on the pulling down of strong holds and casting out evil and negative thinking.

He talked about surrendering to you completely and being utterly saved. In so doing we become more like you and less like ourselves. We become more loving and tolerant.

And what is the price for such service? Constant vigilance. Being forever on guard that the negative forces of this world do not overtake our thinking and doom our souls forever.

He reminded us that we should ask you to keep us ever mindful of the dangers that lurk around us. That truly there is no rest for the Christian, but that it is a small price to pay for eternal life.

He also advised us to invite you into our hearts to do spiritual surgery to pluck out those things that would keep us from living rightly.

Many times I have written about the hole in my soul. That is what it felt like to me. That there was an emptiness that I didn't know how to fill. Today I know only you can fill it and mend it.

And as any loving parent will do, sometimes we have to take the bitter with the sweet as you reveal to us our shortcomings. It isn't always pleasant. But the end result of obedience is always grace-filled.

I'm no closer to an answer of what I am doing for the rest of my life today as I was yesterday. But this I know... The hole in my soul is mending and I am becoming whole.

Thank you for one more chance, one more bestowal of your loving Grace. How great thou art!!!

I am Blessed

I was so sick, God. Trying to get out of bed was an effort I barely wanted to make. The weakness was overwhelming. The worst part was not knowing what was causing it.

Then it eased a bit for a day or two and I thought I was on the mend. And then it slammed me again. I guess you weren't done talking to me yet. As I laid there and prayed hour after hour, I truly wondered if I would ever get better.

But all things pass - good or bad. We humans are strange. It's a blessing when it's bad and a seeming hardship when it's good that passes. I doubt we would be satisfied with anything for any length of time... never satiated, never truly happy. We're so greedy.

The doctor gave me orders. I wouldn't have followed them. And you knew that. And so I was pinned to the bed, unable to hold my head up for more than 15-20 minutes at a time.

But that time was well spent with you. I came to realize what was important. I realized what I was missing. So when I was able to return, I was filled with your Loving Grace. I can say now it was worth those days in bed feeling as though I may never get up again.

Thank you for taking care of me... those days and every day. Thank you for restoring my faith. I am blessed.

Shining the Light

Good morning, God. Came to tell you a few things.

I've been missing you and didn't even know it. Isn't that something? Funny how that is... you don't know you miss someone so bad until you talk to them again.

It's been so nice going to your house. You got the nicest family. They are all so warm and loving. And the hugs! What a nice bonus.

And in the midst of the warmth I discovered the foundations of my soul shaken. There is so much I don't know. I fear I am too old to learn it all, that maybe my faith won't be enough. I know on some level that is just plain silly. But other levels tell me I better get snapping.

And you know... sometimes... it's all just so overwhelming. Not that it's a bad thing. There are times the feeling of being overwhelmed is because I feel so loved. And then, of course, there is the other brand of overwhelm, the one that makes you question your very existence. It is then that I turn to you the most... for reassurance. And always, there you are, waiting.

I can't tell you how much that means to me. But then you already know, huh? I am told you know everything about me - and long before I ever do. That's some job you have! I can't even wrap my mind around it. But then that's good. That's what makes you God and not me.

I love and appreciate all you are doing in my life right now. You know, I thought it was over. "Over" meaning without purpose any more. But each day you reveal things to me that I can begin to see more clearly that the road ahead is much different from what I had planned. Just goes to show how much I really don't know after all.

But what I am most excited about is that feeling I keep getting that what is waiting is so much more than I could (or would) have dared to dream about... You're like that... full of surprises.

Well, I've kept you long enough. You're so very busy. But I thank you each day that you are never too busy to listen to my heart's yearning. And thanks for leaving the Light on for me.

Five Heads?

Cry, cry, cry! We're so fickle we humans. How do you stand us. God? I can barely stand myself.

And yet...

Amidst the tears and the uncertainty I was acutely aware of being pain-free. Isn't that glorious?

She told me to thank you for the fear. I looked at her as if she had five heads. But You know she was right. I knew it too but didn't want to admit it.

So once more I stand at the threshold of yet another adventure. What awaits? You and Your Infinite Wisdom and Grace will enlighten me, I am sure.

Thank you for another wonderful, normal day, God. It's all good when I look to You.

Bless Them

Father God... I usually come to you for others. This time I ask for myself. I need you to teach me how to forgive those who would be unkind and who would curse me.

So far I have managed to say and do nothing. It feels so cowardly and so unjust. It seems that I should be addressing it somehow.

And yet - who have I to convince? Not You. Perhaps only myself. For the others will not hear anything except the beating of their own hearts and the song of their own desires. Truly there is nothing to say.

I feel so alone. Is that how it is when one stands to do the right thing? I sure have a lot of questions, huh? Time and Your Grace will reveal answers. But I am human and I want them now. Please forgive my impatience.

Calm my heart. Make me whole. And... Bless those who cannot see, who do not understand, who believe it is better to be right than right with You. Thanks again for listening. I always feel better talking to You.

G O D - D O G

A New Year's Promise

Happy New Year, God!!!

You have given me another chance to begin again. Once again you have handed me the key to success. Were it not for Your Loving Grace, I would be nothing, have nothing, do nothing. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for keeping your promises.

Thank you for being YOU.