Day One (cont'd)

As the day has progressed I have discovered a few things.

My desire for food is indeed greater than my need for it. My head keeps telling me I am hungry, but my stomach tells me I am full. Thank you, God, for the insights. Stepping back from myself, it is a most incredible observation.

My body seems to be in some sort of revolt. I am experiencing flu-like symptoms. The healthy food I have taken in in the form of juice is wreaking havoc on my system. The biggest and most prominent symptom is the nausea, followed quickly by the headache. The upper part of my stomach gurgles almost constantly. The lower part below the navel feels warm to the touch. Although I have ingested nearly two liters of water, my mouth feels dry. My sinuses alternate between extreme dryness and leaking like a faucet. Yes, the body is absolutely reacting.

I can see the largest obstacle is going to be in the temptation of my mind. Obsession is, and always has been, the problem in this area. My mother used to say, "Once you get something in your head, you know it's not in your feet." It didn't make any sense as a child. Still doesn't to some degree. But what I find is that the second part of the sentence could be anything. It's the first part that's the kicker. Because once I get something in my mind... well, I'm sure you can fill in the rest.

How do I change my mind then? How do I convince my mind that I'm not starving to death, that this is a good thing I am doing for myself, that no matter what it says to me, it is not going to be heard?

Old fashioned will power? I think not. Oh yes, it has worked before. But I want some modicum of peace and serenity surrounding this event. It won't all be peaches and cream (pardon the intrusion here LOL), but I have a right to believe that I can do good things for myself and not sabotage myself in the meantime. So what can I do?

Previous teachings tell me that life is very simple. Trust God, clean house, serve others. Why do I complicate it, God? It's that human thing, isn't it?

So I tell you right now, God. I place this in your hands. I trust that you will see me through this and that I will find success. Why wouldn't you take care of me? Even the sparrows are in your care. In the meantime, I will look within and see what needs to be addressed. I will listen to others and help when I can. You will take care of me. You always do. Thanks again for listening.