Help Me

God, how does one replace a feeling inside? How can one feel a wholeness when there is a great hole? And I don't mean being separate from you or feeling apart from family and friends. I mean that feeling when you know that nothing will ever be quite the same again. How does one get rid of that sick hole in their heart?

I want to feel safe again like I did when I was a child. I want that feeling that if I remember that I forgot to lock the door I don't have to rush to lock it before the boogie men come in a home invasion.

I want that carefree feeling that I can walk the streets and not feel like a mark for some mugger, rapist or murderer.

I want to go into a mall and not have to worry that some nut is going to come in and start randomly shooting helpless victims.

I want to know that my friends children can go to school and only have to worry about a little peer pressure, not weapons and drugs.

I want to feel free to travel without having to practically strip at the check in point. And once past it, I don't want to have to worry about sitting inside the perfect bomb if hijackers decide to go home and decide to take the whole of the plane with them.

When exactly was it that the world went crazy? What happened to the gene pool that suddenly bred such mutations of humanity? Who decided to tell only the news that they thought we should know and not the truth? Why now? What does a person do now? Help me understand. Let me not forget the atrocities that man has done to man. Help me forgive them and give me hope.