There are so many troubled waters these days, God. I suppose it's no different from any other time in history. It's just that I didn't live then and it is these times I am concerned with.
Always I have been instructed to place these troubles in Your hands. But you know how I am. I think I can do things all by myself. Sometimes it's my pride that gets in the way, but not always. Other times I am convinced that I am not worthy of your help, that you have so much to do and that I really shouldn't bother you.
But even in my blindness you send help my way. You bridge those waters by sending me friends who listen and help me. Quite frankly, I don't know what I would do without them. But even so, there are times when going to You is the ONLY solution.
For me that seems to be a double-edged sword. I love how I feel with you but I dread going to you. The past has beaten me down and I forget who I am. I forget that I am your child. I forget my value. And that only adds to the troubles flowing my way. Then I have to apologize to you for forgetting.
I wonder how you put up with me. I wonder the value you find in me to continue bestowing your Grace on me. And then... out of the Blue comes clarity and reason. And I feel humbled in your presence.
Thank you for not giving up on me. I praise your name and honor your love.
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