Monday, May 11, 2009

Helping Hands

Hello again, God. I have the feeling we will be talking much more frequently.

Did you ever notice how willing we humans are to give our power away? I'm sure you have. But I always thought it was that other people stole it away somehow, that sometimes we were just powerless to do anything about it. In some instances that is true. But for the most part, we just hand it over, no questions asked.

Yes, we have lots of phrases that describe just how powerless we are. But I wonder... could it be that we are simply too afraid to strive beyond that powerlessness? And maybe for some, we are just too lazy? I mean, really, you have to "hand it to" the human condition to justify their own failures and shortcomings.

"On the other hand"...

We do have positive sayings about power and hands:

We remind ourselves not to boast about our generosity by telling ourselves, "Don't let the left hand know what the right one is doing." We warn ourselves against risky behaviour with the sentence, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." And we learn to repay favors by noting that "one hand washes the other." It doesn't hurt to be someone's "right-hand man" nor to make money "hand over fist." Having a "hands on" approach to any situation assures our involvement. And it's good to have solutions "at hand and on hand." Yes, a helping hand is a wonderful thing.

So if those phrases denote power, how can the word hand possibly be associated with powerlessness?

Well, we do it a lot with doctors saying, "It's out of my hands now. Doctor knows best." Other times we render ourselves powerless by using phrases like "my hands were tied, there was nothing I could do."

It can start out innocently enough. "Hand it over!" we bark, which automatically places the other person on the defense. Or maybe we overhear someone saying we were left "on their hands." That sure doesn't give you a case of the warm fuzzies. And having you "eating out of their hand" has the same effect. No one likes to feel inferior. And what about "living hand to mouth?" That can't be very soothing to feel that powerless.

You could "wash your hands" of the whole situation because you don't want to "dirty your hands." But then you also know that "idle hands are the devil's workshop," so be careful about being inactive. After all, "cold hands mean a warm heart." So be good to yourself. You could be "winning hands down" before long.

Before you "throw you hands in the air" and write me off as a nut, let me tell you how I came to this page. If nothing else, in the end we can just "shake hands" and agree to disagree.

I sat before the DVD player knowing the information I held was invaluable. It was the beginning to a new life. A life that was going to help me take my power back. All I had to do was follow the instructions. What a concept! Never before had I been "handed" a solution to what was wrong with me. Yes, "handed," bestowed, Graced.

I was so tired of feeling powerless. I was terrified at the prospect of just one more failure. And then I became very aware of my hands with the DVDs in them, and I just knew. "Hand in hand" with you I could do it. You've given me the tools. You've given me the support. And you've given me the ONE sentence to accomplish the task "at hand," to take back my personal power and live more fully.

"The best helping hand you will ever find is at the end of your own wrist."

I sat there looking at the future in my own hands. I turned the DVD on... and began anew, refreshed, hopeful. Thank you for allowing me to see who is in control.

Friday, May 8, 2009

No Rhyme Or Reason

Well, God, what was all that today? I must have gone through a whole box of tissue. Emotional pain comes with a lot of different territories, but this kind of episode leaves me questioning my sanity.

The more I thought of stopping, the worse it got. The more I tried to think of happy things, the more the files of horror came to mind. And the more desperate I felt to feel connected to you, the more alone I felt. Now I feel inferior and defective, drained and whipped.

Most times when a person feels bad enough to cry at least they know why they are crying. I had no clue. I still don't. But at least it has stopped for now.

My hope is to discover before long what it was all about. There is no rhyme or reason to the timing of these events. Maybe one day I will come to know the reasons for them and even appreciate that they happen. But for today, I am just glad it's over.

Thanks for listening once again.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Patience


You know, God, the World Summit has brought up all sorts of feelings. I know the feelings in and of themselves won't hurt me. But why do I have to keep reliving all this stuff?

The technique promises that it won't reoccur. And if it does then the feelings attached will more or less be neutralized. That hasn't happened yet. Maybe it's just a matter of repetition and determination. That's what I keep hearing. So it must be true. But the process isn't very gentle. Maybe I'm hoping for too much, too soon. I don't know. Maybe I just don't have any patience.

I'm going to give it over to you for now. It's more than I can bear. When it's time, let me know what and when to do the things I need to do...

As always, I thank You.