So I Don't Dance

As I dance merrily down the road of life it is comforting to know that I am in the fold, a child of God.

OK, so I don't dance, I shuffle. And maybe sometimes I grudgingly trudge the road of happy destiny.

But it is days like this that I know I am a Child of God. I don't have to question that. Yet still I pinch myself wondering if I am truly awake. Could this possibly be true? Time will tell. It always does.

And though I mutter and moan, and stutter and groan, it is always an epiphany to me when You come to take me by the hand, God, and let me know that, indeed, You were listening the whole time... not only to my prayers, but to those that were lifted up on my behalf by others.

Re-energized and hopeful I say, "Let the adventure begin!" I will go where you point me. Please forgive my doubts. How truly Great Thou Art...

Into the Darkness

I look back over my shoulder and feel as though I am walking into the darkness.

I rely on all those old sayings I have heard over the years. The one that comes to mind is, "Feelings are feelings, feelings aren't facts."

And EVEN THOUGH (just for you, Bebe, haha) I feel like I am going to a dark place, it doesn't necessarily make it so. I am a person with choices. And those choices are the power I can draw on when the darkness seems to be closing in.

Oh, I can let it happen all right! But it doesn't mean I HAVE to, thanks to one-liners and supportive people in my life.

Once again, God, Thanks for listening. I am blessed.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Hello, God. It's just me again.

I've been told that if I feel lonely or distant from you that I should examine exactly who moved. It usually isn't you. OK, in fact, it never is.

I love those times when I am 'in the zone,' Your zone. Or when I know I am connected. And I wonder why it is that I am not a lot of times. And then at the times when I am not close to you, why it is that I cannot see the distance.

Then... when I finally make it back to You, I can't remember the path I took so that the next time I can travel it again. All this back and forth stuff sure is confusing and baffling. Why can't I just stay in Your Light? Why is it so difficult?

Such is the life of a human being, huh? Back and forth, yin and yang, push and pull. And yet, at the end of every struggle, there You are... waiting, my personal Light at the End of the Tunnel. How awesome is that?

Thank You for listening once again. You must have the most tired ears of the Universe.

Angels' Gate

This is it, God! This is how I imagine Angels' Gate. Not on some lofty cloud somewhere, but grounded in a lush forest with life all around it. And from a distance, Your Light shines in to provide warmth and comfort.

I look forward to the day I can see it with my own eyes. Not a scary or foreboding place, rather a place of solace, joy and fellowship.

And if the entrance is so grand, how exquisite the interior must be! I can almost hear them singing from here.

How Great Thou Art!

I Cry Out to You

This field looks so peaceful and serene, God. It's hard to believe there is hardship and strife throughout the world. On this day of remembrance my heart cries out to you.

I see things sometimes and wonder, "What was God thinking?" Sometimes I smile at your creativity. Other times I am saddened. Today is a sad day.

When you gave us freedom of choice you must have known some would abuse it. And yet you took that chance. You gave us a great power for such small beings. Did you know? Could you have foreseen all that has occurred?

I suppose that is about the dumbest question ever asked. Of course you knew. How could you not? And then my mind wanders to why? And then I wonder who I am to question your greatness.

When Cain slew Abel you must have seen all that would follow. It wasn't war then, but that would follow all too soon.

Our weapons of war were shoddy at best. But it wouldn't be long before the ingenuity you gave us would create monster war machines. And their sole purpose? The killing of humans.

Nation against nation was not enough for our small minds. Brother against brother came into fashion. And so it continues to this day.

With technology almost creating itself, I wonder how long it will be before humans are a thing of the past.

And still we seek bigger and better and more efficient weapons in order to kill ourselves off... with collateral damage just an insignificant byproduct of greed and the insane lust of mankind.

And so we try to absolve ourselves of any wrongdoing. We justify our outrage and rationalize our sadistic tendencies. We blame anyone and everyone but ourselves. And to help us in this shame, we set aside 'special days' designed for us to 'remember,' as if the remembrance nullifies the killing. You know how we are... the end justifies the means.

So tell me, God, before my heart hardens and becomes bitter, before I lose all hope in humanity. Because I am not you and do not forgive as easily.

Was it all worth it?

As always, thanks for listening, God... and thank you for peaceful surroundings to let me know it IS possible.